tent warningsslurs

  [colpse]Chapter 4: Chemicals2023 October 27Friday“Hey, Joe. What football club do you root for?”

  I’ve been here for more than three weeks by this point.

  That’s lohan I’ve ever been locked up before, and I bet nobody even knows I’m here. Hell, they probably think I’m dead or something. But if they all think I’m dead, what does that mean for pleting the program? Even if I didn’t want to turn everybody in—and fat ce that I wouldn’t— I’d be returning to a world that hasn’t seen Joe in weeks. How would I even begin to expin that?

  “Well you see, I just got burned out from school, so I went backpag for a little while without telling anyone.”

  OK, that story might work for or, but I don’t think anybody would buy it from me. I just firaveling, and I just started at Saints; I ’t risk another fuckup.

  So much for that.

  Still, being here is han a normal jail, as long as the sponsors don’t have a reason to put me ba the cells. Of course, that asshole Tyler gave them one about a week ago.

  I was talkihusiastically about one of my favorite graphiovels when he helpfully informed everyo was something only a “poof” like me would care about. I couldn’t not defend myself from his accusation. Calm discussion turo yelling, and when it looked like I might possibly escate, Beth tased me and put me in the cells ht to “cool off”.

  After closing the door to the cell, Beth looked at me intensely and asked, “Why does it matter, Joe?” Then she left before I could give an answer.

  “Joe?”

  Why does it matter? Because being a po or whatever is wrong. Even my dad has enough seo know that’s the case. Men and women run on different chemicals, and you ’t just go against how those chemicals lead you to behave od forbid, try to mess with those chemicals, because… because…

  God damn it! There’s sce behind this with articles and books but they won’t let me che any of it. Every time I ask, Beth acts like she’s going to be helpful but instead hands me some “articles” that amount to little more than feminist propaganda.

  There’s no way I’m wasting time on any of it, of course, but every time I throw away or otherwise destroy an article, another copy appears in its pce during the m’s breakfast. Beth promised the ones I read will go away for real, but she uimates just how many sheets of paper I’m willing to pile on my desk.

  “Joe!” It’s Andrew.

  “Huh?” I say.

  “Football?”

  “Oh, the Cowboys.”

  Andrew, or, aian give me fused stares.

  “From Dals?” I try to expin. “Well, they actually py in Arlington. My dad is a season tickets holder, although he started reselling most of his tickets after I left for college.”

  “Yes, Joe, we know about the Cowboys,” says Andrew. “They’re the ones with the best cheerleaders, right? Anyway, I wasn’t asking about Ameri football. I meant Association. What you all call soccer.”

  “Oh, uh… London?”

  “Nevermind. I’m half surprised you didn’t say AFC Rid.”

  ht, from that show about the football guy coag soccer. I liked it at first, but it got way too woke by the third season.

  “And, Joe, if you really want to watch a bunch of sweaty men tackle each ive rugby a ce. At least they don’t stop to take a nap every ten seds.”

  Andrew be su ass sometimes. I’m about to unto a detailed defense of the obviously superior football when once again Maria cps for our attention.

  “Alright, everyoomorrow m, we’ll be doing medical examinations. It shouldn’t be a big deal. A normal physical exam plus a blood draw. We’ll leave each of you some water in your dumbwaiter to help with the draw. Drink it unless you want the o spend five minutes hunting for a vein.”

  or says, “I thought you already got some of my blood when I came in.”

  “Yes, but you’ve been underground and on Goserelin for nearly a month now. We o make sure your health hasn’t been affected. Aed to both of those things, you’ll be providing sperm samples after the exam—try to trol yourselves tonight so you have somethio give—and we’ll begin administering weekly vitamin shots tomorrow evening.”

  The vitamin shots make sense. We ’t be getting enough vitamin D down here, and I have been feeling more tired tely than I used to.

  “Is the sperm sample really necessary?” Seb asks.

  “Yes Sebastian,” says Maria. “Despite some of your s, we do io let you go once you’ve pleted the programme. We want to guarantee you’re leaving this p at least as good, if not better, physical dition than when you entered.”

  2023 October 28SaturdayI wake up to my phone bring Taylor Swift, just like it has every m since I got it. Sometimes Beth switches it up with a new song, but it’s always Swift. At least she’s straight. God help us if the girls running this pce ever find a gay pop singer even half as catchy—catchy to them, I mean. They’d probably be pying her non-stop in some celebration of degee diversity.

  A bottle of water waits for me in the dumbwaiter, just like Maria promised. I chug it down and hear Beth knog on my door only a few mier.

  “Wakey wakey! Your medical exam starts in half an hour, Joe, so get a quick shower in and then e back to your room.”

  Beth no longer follows me around with a taser all the time, and we’re usually allowed to e and go as we please as long as we’re not avoiding the others for days in a row or skipping meals. But occasionally you get ms like this where we’re given marg orders, and it’s taking all my self-trol not to tell her off and risk time in a cell.

  Like Andrew and Seb seem to have figured out as well, if we keep our heads doy nice, Beth and the other sponsors won’t ask toomuch of us other than never seeing the outside world. I think or does what they ask because that’s just how he is. Or maybe he’s hoping to get a good grade in kidnapping victim.

  Shortly after getting bay room, the little red light on my door’s thumb reader turns on. I figure they don’t want us leaving until the exams are done.

  A while ter, I hear the normal knock Beth gives before letting herself into my room. The door swings open, and I see Beth standing oher side along with Ames and a woman I don’t reize. Uh and Ames, she isn’t holding a taser.

  “I’m Rabia,” she says, “and I’ll be doing your medical examination this m.”

  “You’re really a doctor?” I ask.

  “Nurse,” she says, “but if you have an issue that needs more specialized attention, I’ll make sure to let somebody know who help.”

  Well, she seems professional at least.

  “You’re aware I’m being held against my will, right?” I ask.

  She makes a show of looking bad forth betweeh and Ames’s tasers.

  “Yes. Now, please cooperate with the examination. It makes things so much harder for both of us if you have to be tased.”

  I don’t know if they’re paying her off or if she’s just as vinced about their mission as the rest of them. Either way, it doesn’t look like I have other options.

  “Fine,” I say.

  The exam is more-or-less like any other physical I’ve had. Rabia asks the normal questions about mood, fatigue, and so on. I cough in surprise when she asks if I’ve noticed anything unusual about my testicles, but a “nod” from Ames’s taser reminds me to ahe question. Rabia has me take off my shirt while she checks my heart and lungs.

  “Alright, Joe. I just o draw a little blood and we’re done.”

  She nds a vein on the first try and draws five vials. I’m gd I hydrated this m.

  Rabia pces a tablet and a colle y desk, and starts giving instrus. “Provide a sperm sample sometime before you go to bed, and put it in the dumbwaiter as soon as it’s ready. There’s some material oablet to help you along. Bethany will do your first vitamin shot herself this evening. I personally trained her on how to give iions, so I know she’ll do a good job. Now, please excuse me. I have ahree of these to get through before I’m dohis m.”

  Beth says, “Thank you for cooperating, Joe. See you in a bit for breakfast.”

  “You’re wele,” I say through ched teeth.

  Beth closes the door as the three of them leave. I decide to do the sample ter; don’t want to risk getting caught at the start of breakfast with my pants down. After what turns out to be 45 minutes to secure funding for the geion of doomed astronauts, the red light on my door’s thumb sensor turns off, and the green light turns on.

  I head to the dining room for breakfast. I’m surprised to see a little box of multigrain Cheerios waiting for me there among other small boxes of sugary cereal.

  * * *

  The rest of the day goes more-or-less like normal. Or normal for down here, at least. Seb is a bit testy all day; he ahan got tased for not following Rabia’s instrus, and yeah, getting tased will put you in a foul mood. Meanwhile, Andrew seems almost excited. Puy must have bee up for a while. We’re told to return to our rooms a bit earlier than normal.

  Shortly after I enter my room, Beth knocks and opens the door. She’s carrying a little bag and a pstic box.

  “I could have been w on my sample, you know!”

  “There are cameras, Joe, so I know you weren’t. Are you ready for your vitamin shot?”

  “Sure. Fine.”

  Beth looks half surprised.

  “I figured you’d be fighting me on this given your whole…” She gestures with an arm as if I tell what she wants to say. “Politics.”

  “Yeah, well, if it’s good enough for the President, it’s good enough for me. Besides, this is just vitamins, right?”

  “Right. Pull down your trousers some so I get to your thigh.”

  I pull down my pants a bit. Beth swabs a spot on my thigh, gives it a moment to dry, is a surprisingly viscous vitamin solution, and puts the syringe iic box.

  “We’ll do this once a week for the foreseeable future. You have a good night, and don’t fet to leave your sample befoing to sleep.”

  A few minutes after she steps out of the door, I take a look at the tablet. Yeah, this will do. I’m sure there are some freaks out there who’d find this stuff pretty tame, but thankfully I’m not one of them.

  2023 November 10Friday“Dude, are you really g?” Andrew asks.

  A few days after the medical examinations, Beth brought up the versation we’d had about football—footballs?—and reended a TV show called Even Quarterbacks Get the Blues.

  withstanding, I retty psyched about watg the show, but then it turned out it focused more on the football team members’ girlfriends instead of the pyers themselves.

  But hey, the girlfriends were pretty hot, and or had asked what I was watg, and then Andrew joined in, mostly so he could ogle at the girls with me, and now we’re broadcasting it to the on room TV. I swear I see Seb sneaking peeks even though he insists the show is not his se.

  And yes, I am g, because Madison just joihe cheerleading squad in spite of the head cheerleader’s protests, and she had worked so hard to get in and ahhh my emotions have been all over the pce for the st few days.

  After the episode ends, Beth approaches the couch I’m sitting on with Andrew and or. I look up ahe other sponsors watg us carefully. Beth gestures for Andrew and or to go somewhere else for the moment. ives me a ed look, and thewo of them walk toward where Seb is sitting.

  “I o head out for a date soon. Ames is going to fill in for me.”

  “OK, have fun I guess,” I say. “Just try not to kidnap the guy if it starts going poorly.”

  Maybe I’m pushing things a bit, but I’m still raw from the show, and I’ve noticed the sponsors ah in particur tend not to mind some cheek.

  “She’s a girl, actually,” says Beth. She’s looking at me very carefully. “You don’t have a problem with that, do you Joe?”

  Part of me wants to say no, just to get her to move on. But then, what kind of man would I be if I tio let things like this slide without some kind of obje.

  “You know what? I do have a problem. Not that I’m going to try and stop you or anything—you are the oh the taser—but I don’t get it. What, you find men so repulsive that you’ll only date other women? Why are you lesbians so vihat we’re not worth it? Have you even been with a man?”

  “I have been, actually. Just the one guy, but we messed around a lot. Had plenty of fun. Bragged about our exploits with others. But then I figured out what a little shit he was and moved on.”

  “Too bad. Sounds like you two were made for each other.”

  I’m suddenly nervous that I took things too far with my captor, but after an appreciably long silence, Beth ughs and says, “I ’t say you’re wrong. Have a good night, Joe.”

  She leaves for the main hallway.

  I still ’t figure out what is going on with Beth! She keeps switg bad forth between strid irreverent with little warning, like she’s ag as both my captor and trying to be my friend. And then she voluhat she’s dating anirl. Why? Did she want to make me unfortable? Did she think she’d get a rise out of me and have an excuse to tase me again?

  Or maybe she was hoping to prove that I wouldn’t do those things? Did she think I might accept what I was being told by the girl who kidnapped me, the one who orders me around, the one who sometimes sets out a box of cereal with me in mind and reends cheesy TV shows based on my is? This fusing mess who, on top of all those other things going on with her, just happens to like irls more than men?

  Does that st thing actually ge anything else I know about her?

  Why does it matter, Joe?

  Because it has tht?