tent warningsmisgendering, frank discussion of rape culture

  [colpse]Chapter 5: Lessons2023 November 13Monday“Of all of us, I thought you’d have the biggest problem, Seb. It really doesn’t bother you?”

  “No, Joe, it doesn’t bother me that some of the sponsors are lesbians. It’s just a thing now. My own aunt is one. Based on how my mum talks about my dad sometimes, I’m surprised she isn’t one. No, my problem is with mentally ill men ag like they are lesbians as well.”

  To my surprise, the uys here—or at least the three whose opinion I care about—seem to have muodern opinions on what is acceptable for men and women than I expected.

  OK, Andrew did say it was a shame there were so many women out there who weren’t into guys like him, but I get the sense he was actually being sincere about his ck of options as opposed to the way somebody like… somebody might call one a waste when too tired to act polite.

  We’re interrupted from our discussion when Ames walks in with her phone promily stig out of her dominant hand.

  “Alright, kids. Everybody find a seat fag the television, because it’s time for css.”

  Across the room, I hear a groan from Ethan. Tyler leans in close and says something to draw a snort out of the taller boy. Ethen immediately sits up straight and puts on a ral expression like he’s pretending that little exge never happened.

  Paige looks at them and says, “Pay attention you two.”

  Ames makes a show of pressihumb to her phone s, and the words “What is Feminism?” do a horizontal wipe across the TV s. Oh Lord.

  “May as well get right to it,” Ames says. “Would anybody like to try answering the question?”

  “Sure,” I say. “Feminism is the notion that men deserve fewer rights to make up for the perceived inequalities betweewo sexes.”

  “Sounds like Bethany has been sneaking you spoilers about the css, Joe.”

  “Wait, I’m right?”

  Ames taps her phone again, and the TV s shifts to a cartoon image of a man wearing gsses. He is gesturing upward toward a butterfly with the bel “Hating Men” u. The question “Is this feminism?” is tered at the bottom of the image.

  Ames says, “Now, would anybody else like to try?”

  or raises his hand.

  “Go ahead, or.”

  “Feminism is a range of socio-political movements and ideologies that aim to define aablish the political, eic, personal, and social equality of the sexes.”

  Several of us, including some spive him a look of disbelief.

  or expins, “I looked it up on Wikipedia a few months ag a discussion with my ex.”

  Ames says, “Right. So we’ve found that the meering this program—with the possible exception of or—e in with on and fual misceptions about feminism. Whether from parents, friends, the i, wherever, you’ve been misled, and it is important to learn both what you were misled towards but also how you were misled so it doesn’t happen again.

  “Over the few weeks—yes, weeks. This a course with note sheets and homework—”

  Tabby interjects, “You’re not actually getting a grade for this, so don’t get excited, or.”

  Ames tinues, “Over the few weeks, we will cover these isceptions, various eople beisinformed and how to avoid this misinformation iure, and a history of different feminist aed movements. Any questions?”

  “How often will we be doing this?” Andrew asks.

  “We’ll be holding css daily. I’ll give you weekends off, though.”

  “You ’t be serious.”

  “Do you have somewhere else to be?… I didn’t think so. Any more questions?”

  “’t you just give us some books or something?” I ask.

  “The thing about books is that it’s easy to ighem or pretend you’re reading without actually engaging. I’ve heard from Beth that your own desk is covered in books and papers you’ve never even looked at. My job is to make sure you stay engaged. Anything else?”

  There are a lot of groans, but none of them be interpreted as a question.

  “The’s begin.”

  2023 December 5Tuesday“Well that st bit was bullshit.”

  Today’s css was on alternative sexualities and the movement to see them broadly accepted. And while I am growing more sympathetic to the notion that being gay isn’t that big a deal, the st bit on polyamory was just bizarre.

  OK, first, pick a term that doesn’t mix Latin and Greek roots. From what I uand, Saints has a well-regarded linguistics program. Maybe the sponsors kidnap a few professors and force them to i a better word.

  Sed, anybody that thinks you juggle multiple retionships while keeping everybody happy is either deluding themselves or lying to their so-called paramours. My dad has clearly shown how poorly having girls on the side go, and I’m surprised my mom has stayed with him for as long as she has.

  I tried t up my well-reasoned objes during css, of course, but Ames just told me, “I’ve personally seen it work, Joe. Now, please, try to have an open mind and pay attention.”

  Still reeling from that bullshit dismissal, I try bringing up my objes again with my cssmates after css.

  “I don’t know, man,” says Seb. “People are going to love who they love.”

  “Yeah, but this is different, right? It’s ohing to love somebody ued, but this just throws the rules of retionships out pletely.”

  “But once you learn it’s OK to break one of the rules, doesn’t it call into question all the others?”

  He has a point, maybe? I’m still not vihough.

  “I guess we’ll just never see eye-to-eye on this,” I say.

  2023 December 6Wednesday“Yeah, today’s whole css was bollocks.”

  Seb and I do see eye-to-eye now. As a followup to yesterday’s ce of alternative sexualities, today we cender non-ity and transgender people. It was a lot of the usual crap. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Any man just decre he’s a woman now and who are we to question it?

  And don’t get me started on whealked about non-binary identities. If she ever met one of those so-called enbies like that Enuy I was subjected to st year, she’d see how weird they are and ge her tune right away.

  Although, there was one part of today’s css that made some seo me. Tabby got up to do a shuest lecture attempting to debunk the “Bnchard transsexualism typology” and in particur the cept of autogynephilia. Basically, there’s supposed to be the “real” trans women who are attracted to men and there’s the others who—as an apparent sequence of being attracted to women—are merely getting off on the idea of having a woman’s body.

  Now, suppose one subscribes to the notions that trans women are women (which still makes no seo me) and that women loving women is normal (I’m irely vinced, but whatever.) Then how does it make sehat a trans woman who loves women is meaningfully different from a cis woman who loves women or a trans woman who loves men? If one insists on w under ridiculous precepts, then they should at least be sistent with them.

  There’s not much else to talk about down in the basement, so I again try to start a versation after css ends.

  Andrew scoffs. “Joe, please. Css is over for today. I know you’ve decided to be the teacher’s new pet, but give the rest of us a break.”

  “I think what you’re saying makes sense,” says or.

  “See, and we all know or is smart,” I say. “Maybe naive about what they’re doing with us here, but he’s logical, like a Vul or something.”

  rimaces.

  “Oh. Sorry, man.” I guess he didn’t like the parison.

  After a few more minutes of enlightened versation, the others turn to whatever’s oV, ah walks up to talk.

  “I’m gd to see you engaged, Joe, even if you don’t agree with everything we’ve been saying. If you’d like, I give you an article with more information about the autogroinophilia stuff.”

  “Autogynephilia.”

  “See, you already know more about it than I do.”

  God help me. I actually have to stifle a ugh at her joke. At least I think it’s a joke.

  “So are you ied?”

  “Yeah, sure. But don’t take this as a sign that I’m suddenly buying into everything y’all are saying.”

  “Of course not. I wouldn’t dream of it.”

  2023 December 7ThursdayJoeYeah, OK. That article was det.

  Bethanygd you thought so.you know if you’re bored, you always try reading some of the other things I’ve been giving you off your desk a bit||you may even learn something|

  JoeSeems unlikely, but fine. I’ll take a look.

  You edit your st message to fix the broken spoiler you know.

  Bethanyleaving it

  And yes, I actually am pnning to give some of those readings a look. If only to better uand my enemy. Which is probably something I should have been w on earlier.

  Bethanyoh, thought you might want to know. the feminism lessons are ending this week, so we’re pnning to do bbq for lunch Saturday to celebrate

  JoeOh sweet.

  I’m sure it won’t be as good as real Texas barbecue, but some smoked brisket or pulled pork would really hit the spot.

  2023 December 9Saturday“How was your burger, Joe?” Beth asks.

  “Fihanks.”

  Now that our celebratory lunch is finished, I’m left with the choice of what to do with my afternoon. I could go bay room to py some more Kerbal Space Program, but I only hide in there so long before the spet ky. I could take a spot on a couear the TV with the others, but we already burhrough all of Even Quarterbacks Get the Blues, and I really don’t care for the reality trash they normally put oV.

  And so I’m sitting here, looking over a printed article Beth left on my desk probably a month ago. Now, one could argue that burying myself in reading is just as antisocial as pying a video game in my room. But what they don’t know is that simply being seen engaging with feminist literature lead to many stimuting versations.

  “Are you reading that trash voluntarily?” Ethan asks. “Maria locks me in my room until I’ve read enough to make her happy, but you’re sitting out here with the rest of us and reading it anyway. Are you thinking of siding with the bitches holding us here?”

  I stand to get closer to Ethan’s level and say, “I’m reading it, because there’s literally nothing else worth doing around here. Except talking to a womaing luess.”

  Ethan squares his shoulders and makes a show of stretg out his fingers.

  “Would you like to say that again?”

  I quickly take a defeahan looks like he’s preparing to throunch, but then we hear a loud, “Ethan!” from across the room. Ethan pauses for a moment as Tyler runs up beside us and reaches for Ethan’s shoulder. By that moment, Beth and Maria have both drawaser, pointing it at Ethan while we all wait to see how things resolve.

  Tyler says, “It’s not worth it, man. You want to get tased again?”

  Ethan looks bad forth between Tyler, our sponsors, and me as he tries to decide what to do.

  “Whatever,” Ethan says, and he walks off with Tyler.

  Beth rexes her grip oaser and walks up to me.

  “Here to lecture me on fighting?” I ask.

  “Not at all! It looked to me like Ethan was the only one here looking to get physical… But maybe don’t say anything ing ime unless you have a really good reason to.”

  I suppose she has a point.

  “Yeah, alright,” I say.

  Beth puts on a satisfied grin and theurns to her seat.

  Finally alone again, I go bay article. It’s on something called rape culture, the idea that rape bee normalized and pervasive in a society due to things like sexual objectification, slut-shaming, trivializing and joking about rape, and so on.

  …like when my buddies and I would…

  Anyway, the cept makes se least at my first impression, and it even addresses my initial criticism that rape culture shifts the responsibility for rape away from the individual perpetrators.

  The article goes on to address a few misceptions that tribute to rape culture. As examples, anybody could be a rapist, not just “evil men” who fit a stereotype, and rape take many forms, not just the violent forced sex one usually thinks of.

  Finally, it discusses some specific things that tribute to rape culture that one may not initially think about such as society’s reluce to actually punish those who it rape. I suppose that in particur would mean rape culture itself tributes to its owuation.

  Fuck, I know I’ve only been giving it a ce for a few days now, but the readih was giving me has been a lot more insightful so far than I expected.

  And that is my ho opinion, at least I’m pretty sure. I’m not just going along with them because I’ve lost the will to fight back. I’m actuallystarting to thih and the others might know what they’re talking about and have my best is at heart.

  Then again, it would be a lot easier to believe they were helping if they hadn’t fug kidnapped me first.

  2023 December 10Sunday“Hey, Joe? I ask you something a bit personal?”

  “Uh, sure or, what’s up?”

  “Have you noticed your chest feeling at all… puffy?”

  “Puffy?”

  “Yeah, mine’s kind of puffy, and there’s little lumps just underh my nipples. My nipples are kind of sensitive, too. Like, it hurts if I poke one, and if I rub them… never mind. It’s just that I’ve asked Tabby, and she says maybe it’s a side effect of the Goserelin impnts, but I was w if…”

  “No, I haven’t noticed anything like that, or. But it’s not like I spend much time groping myself.

  “I’ll tell you what, though. If I notiything, I’ll let you know and also see what Beth thinks.”

  “Yeah, alright. Thanks, Joe.”

  “Of course.”