home

search

Chapter 15 – Unable to Grieve

  Celosia had been quiet since her family left the house to go to Fmel's Hospital, Gio was staying behind so he could be alone, as he was still going through his grieving process. Isobel thought that he was doing that and left with everyone else.

  Addison, Willow and Lily were too excited about likely getting their welcoming letters to Conway's today then with seeing Evelyn, as the three were sure that they were going to arrive today since the school break was going to be over in a few days now.

  The family drove through the brown, bck and grey tall buildings of the city district of Fmel as Celosia spent the duration of the car ride looking out of the window in silence.

  Most of the buildings were office building or rge stores, the glowing light of the sun however made the streets of the city glow with a white hue, the only thing separating the hue was the darkened alleyways that shielded itself away from it.

  The car parked near the rge white building of the Fmel hospital, it was painted white and had eight floors as the family got out and made their way inside, Celosia was more slower due to her reluctance.

  She also had that growing feeling of being watched by those damn eyes again from that figure in the trench coat.

  She stopped briefly and turned towards an alleyway on the otherside of the street. For a moment, she thought she had seen those eyes again, but they weren't there, she was just seeing things.

  She followed her family, and the twins inside the hospital, where they soon reached room 153, the room Evelyn was admitted in.

  Seeing the door at the other end of the hall as Isobel talked to a nurse at a nearby desk, made Celosia's stomach worse then it was that morning as she kept staring at the pin white door, and those three numbers pted to It.

  Knowing her aunt was behind that door, lying in bed.

  With wires and tubes strung up around her.

  She wasn't going to wake up soon.

  Will she wake up at all?

  Celosia let out a long panicked gasp as she noticed how close she was to seeing Evelyn like that. She moved back a little, away from everyone else.

  "Okay, visiting hours are open, so let's be quick about visiting Evelyn, alright?" Isobel looked back over at the five, a smile growing on her face, which paused when, she noticed the growing fear on Celosia's face, but like her husband, she assumed Celosia was being dramatic, she always did take after her father a lot, compared to her three older and well adjusted sisters.

  "Celosia?" She called out to Celosia in a snappish manner, Celosia slowly looked up towards her mother, the fear making her vision blurr a little.

  "What are you doing? Are you trying to draw attention to yourself?" Isobel looked more embarrased at seeing Celosia's anxious face then concerned, she didn't want people to notice Celosia and then look back at her for not doing anything, she didn't want to do anything, she just wanted Celosia to stop panicking for whatever stupid reason and ignore it.

  "No, I'm sorry, but." Celosia looked back at the door again, touching the front of her chest.

  "Can I wait out here?" She asked her family.

  "I never knew you were scared of hospitals Celosia." Damon taunted to Celosia, which caused her to drop her panicked expression and turn it into more of an angry one.

  "You always were the cowardly one." Damian added in support of his brother.

  "Didn't you piss your pants when you needed vaccinated at five years old?" Celosia retorted to Damian, who growled at her.

  "Shut up about that, and go jump out of a window instead so we can all be rid of you." He snapped at Celosia.

  "Celosia, you don't have to act so." Isobel paused, coming to Damian's defense.

  "Rude, about that." Isobel finished her scolding, she kept her tone in check, but she wanted to tear into Celosia right there and then for what she just said, if only they were still at her house.

  "Look, I'll meet you at the car, I just, need some time alone." Celosia turned and quickly began walking away from the group, her mother and sisters sighed, but Celosia just, didn't care about what they were thinking about her right now.

  She just needed to get away from that door, she wanted to be as far away from it as possible and just, away from everyone else.

  As Celosia marched down the hall towards the nearest elevator, she passed by another desk, and saw someone famair standing by it, it was Haruo, he grabbed a bag of medicine that a doctor gave him from the desk.

  "Thanks." He said, and when he turned, he saw Celosia standing near him, he was surprised to say the least and stopped in pce when he realised he was running into Celosia again.

  "Oh, Celosia, right? I actually was serious, I didn't expect to be running you again after st night." Haruo said, surprised, before he ughed a little.

  "Yeah, I didn't expect to be running into you so quickly too." Celosia paused, her hair was a bit messy from the march that she just did.

  "After you said, you weren't seeing going to see me for awhile because I'll be--" Celosia paused and moved away from Haruo, she couldn't keep her composure, she needed air as soon as possible. She could feel it, that pressure closing in around her lungs like she was being strangled, it wasn't bad enough to completely deprive her of air, but it was bad enough that being in a small space like where she was now, was making her dizzy and almost made the colr of her shirt so damn unbearable to wear, she wanted to tear it off.

  She wanted to stop feeling this way no matter what, she wanted out of here.

  "Sorry, I just need to leave, I didn't mean to stop your day and yeah." Celosia turned and began walking away.

  "Hey, wait!" Haruo called out to Celosia before she left, she stopped again amd turned towards Haruo once more.

  Haruo was hesitant to talk to Celosia, but he knew that look on her face, that she was going through some tough shit right now and he wasn't going to leave her like that. He's already been doing that a lot to his family.

  "I can tell that your upset, don't hide it, please, if you need to bring it out, even if it's to a stranger, then don't hesitate." Haruo paused as he noticed that the edge of Celosia's eyes were filling with tears, she wiped one of her eyes when she felt them.

  "Even if we don't know each other that much, but please, don't bottle that shit up." He finished his question, because he knows that a stranger listening to another strangers troubles often helps.

  Celosia knew that too, she smiled lightly at Haruo, he seemed to be a nice person from the conversation that they had st night, and for once, Celosia wanted to talk to someone and have someone listen to her about what she was feeling right now.

  "Yeah." She nodded.

  "I would like that." Celosia said, before her and Haruo began walking down the hall together.

  The two sat on a bench in the hospital's garden that patients, doctors or nurses often walk by during certain parts of the day.

  The garden reminded Celosia of Peter and Evelyn's own garden, it was filled with various small trees but there was rger pnts that Celosia had only seen in books and pictures and were commonly found in other countries.

  For Haruo, it reminded him of the colourful gardens back in Hoakura. Sota, Masumi, Honoka, Goro, Fuji, Asahi, and Masaru's familys had the best gardens compared to his own, they had a much smaller garden.

  "Who's that bag of medicine for?" Celosia asked, she looked down at the small bag that Haruo was holding.

  "Oh, it's for someone at home." Haruo look over to Celosia, he held up the bag.

  "His immune system isn't working well, so this tends to help him." Haruo would ugh.

  "It makes him tired too, which pisses him off." Haruo said, he slowly looked over at the garden.

  "Yeah, I would be pissed too if I have to take shit that makes me tired." Celosia would rete, even if she herself wasn't sick, but, her thoughts moved back towards her aunt.

  "I... Hate seeing my aunt in the state that she's in." Celosia confessed.

  "I thought I was ready to see her today, I even promised myself that I would go on the first visit to see her, but, I fucked up." She looked down at her fist, which she unclenched.

  "I guess I wasn't ready like I thought I was huh? Heh, fucking coward I am, for not going through that door." She shook her head sadly, a smile coming back to her face, one that was obviously fake, a smile that she created, to mock herself, to let her know that she was W?e?a?k? for thinking that she was ready to see Evelyn.

  She w????????????a??????????????????????s?????????????n?????????????????'?????????????????t????????????????? good enough.

  Evelyn would have h?????????????????????????????a????????????????????????????????????????????????????t????????????????????????????????????e?????????????????????????????????????????????????d???????????????????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????????h????????????????????????????e??????????????r?????????????????????? if she didn't visit her anytime too.

  Y??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????o???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????u???????????????????????????????????????????r?????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????a??????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????c???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????w??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????a??????????????????????????????????r???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????d?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????,???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????r?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????i?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????g???????????????????????????????????????????h????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????t???????????????????? ?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????C???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????e???????????????????????????????????????????????????????l?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????o??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????s??????????????????????????????????????????????i?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????a????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

  Celosia looked down at her arm, the scars were again covered by her sleeve, but a smaller scar could be seen at the edge of it, it was almost healed, yet, Celosia couldn't help but feel alone about, her issues whenever she looked at them.

  "Hey."

  But when she heard Haruo's voice again, she stopped thinking about that and turned to look at him again.

  "Don't try to hide away your tears." He said.

  "Grieving, Is a process that we all go through sooner or ter, even if Evelyn is alive, it still feels like she's dead, or just, your unable to talk to her like you used too." Haruo said, Celosia obliged, but she no longer feels the need to cry over her aunt, the tears that she was about to shed earlier inside the Hospital was of frustration then of sadness.

  Feeling grief or guilt when doing something wrong was another story for Celosia entirely.

  "Haruo." Celosia sounded hesitant.

  "I can't feel like that, like others can." She would confess, confusing Haruo.

  "What do you mean?" He asked.

  "Feeling grief or guilt." She said, sounding more clearer to Haruo, she looked down towards her legs in sadness.

  "I... I can't feel what others feel when people, they love die or when they hurt or upset people. I don't feel anything like that whenever that happenes, whenever I look at people's face, I just see bnks and, don't feel anything." Celosia would admit, there was little fear in her voice as, Haruo looked on in sadness.

  "I'm sorry, for dropping this shit onto you." Celosia shook her head, feeling bad for telling her issues to Haruo as she let out a short ugh, but it was forced, as if she wanted to let it out for awhile now.

  "It must be sounding weird being told this to someone you barely know that I'm some sort of sociopath." She pointed out.

  "No, your not, don't ever say that about yourself." Haruo urged to Celosia.

  "Everyone's built differently, and I asked you to tell me what's wrong and I'm listening. I would never judge anyone about their problems." He gave his assurance to Celosia.

  "Unless of course, we're delving into politics." He would pyfully warn.

  "Rex, I'm not those kinds of freaks." Celosia assured Haruo, and after a pause, the two would ugh at Celosia's threat.

  "Your not alone Celosia and your not a sociopath." Haruo continued, and hearing him say that, Celosia, felt relieved that someone was listening to her problems, someone to let her know that, she wasn't weird or insane about the issues that she has.

  She was apprecative to have a stranger like Haruo talk to her.

  "So what if you can't feel guilt or grief? The fact of the matter is, you still care for your aunt and your uncle, you want Evelyn to wake up and it doesn't make you a shitty person because you can't feel sad for what happened to her or your uncle because your body won't let you, you still care for them in other ways." Haruo pointed out.

  "Thanks, Haruo." Celosia said, feeling apperciative.

  "If only I heard more advice from people like you." She added, Haruo would grin.

  "Strangers often give out the best advice." He boasted with a sharp grin, he was happy, to have cheered up someone today who's not Goro, it's been awhile since he had done that.

  "Believe me, after dealing with my family for years, the advice that I take that's not about not getting married or hating men is from people from my extended family, and strangers." Celosia ughed.

  "But, your not a stranger, if we've already talked before, and I know your name." Celosia said as Haruo got up from the bench.

  "I hope we can talk again soon, even if we are going to two different schools, you seem really nice to talk too." She said as a compliment, Haruo turned back towards her, after stretching a little, he hated for his muscle to feel a bit built up when sitting down for a bit.

  "Me too." Haruo agreed.

  "You seem, genuinely nice to talk too Celosia." He admitted.

  "Just wait until I start talking about fucked up shit in return, you haven't gotten to that part of me yet." Celosia joked, Haruo however didn't seem to care about those kinds of topics since he didn't seem put off by what Celosia had just said.

  "Trust me, the kind of shit I say earns a few eyebrows from people back home." Haruo said with a smile.

  "And a few genuine ughs out of some of them too." He would add, after a pause, he spoke again.

  "I know this is the second time that we're talking but, I don't often talk to people outside of my family, besides the few people at a club that I go too at school, and my girlfriend." He sounded a little annoyed.

  Celosia's smile lowered a little as she noticed the small look of concern on Haruo's face.

  "I should get going, the little guy that needs this medicine will be waking up soon, and I want to deliver it before he wakes up." He continued smiling as he looked down at the medicine bag.

  Celosia continued looking at Haruo, she was still thinking about the troubled look that he gave just now, but then, near the end of the garden, she saw Isobel standing at the end of it, looking annoyed that Celosia was talking to someone who looked "rough," Celosia ignored her as did Haruo when he noticed the weird way Isobel was looking at him, he's seen those kinds of looks before from other people, which, he's gotten used too.

  "It was nice meeting you again Haruo, I want to talk to you again, soon." She said, remaining hopeful that she would see Haruo again, and Haruo for his part, did want to talk to Celosia again, even if he was still certain that she would soon move on from him once she starts attending Conways.

  And if she found out what he really was.

  As Haruo began walking away, Celosia slowly looked down at his leg, his ankles were exposed, but, there was nothing there, no bandages or bruises, but she was looking from a far so she couldn't properly check them, but Haruo at least wasn't limping.

  The car ride home was a quiet one, something of which Lily, Willow, Addison, Damon and Damian had noticed, even the following trip to the library so Damon and Damian can get a few books about politics was quiet.

  Isobel didn't want to talk to Celosia after her little scene in the hospital hallway and the fact that she was talking to people like Haruo, much to her disgust.

  Celosia for her part, didn't know what petty reason her mother was mad at her for this time, she just thought about what Haruo had said to her instead.

  Lily, Willow and Addison were excited when they made it back to the house, as they wanted to see if the Conway letters have arrived for them yet.

  "Are they here, are they here!?" Lily resounded through the door as her and her sisters turned towards the side where letters would fall through the box, sure enough, Willow gushed when she saw four letters on the ground.

  "AHHH THEY HAVE!" Addison squealed, reaching down and grabbing her welcome letter, as well as her two other sisters.

  Celosia, Damon, Damian and Isobel entered the house soon after as they watched the girls opened their admission letters.

  Isobel, Damon and Damian smiled for the girls, as well as Celosia, as much as her sisters looked down at her, she was happy for them getting their letters.

  The letters were in a grey, dull envelope as the girls opened them, and began reading them, letting them know that they would be attending Conway High and the numerous csses they'll be taken, something of which made the girls excited over starting a new school life in Fmel. Isobel, Damon and Damian moved over towards them, wanting to congratute at the girls that their now official students at Conways.

  Celosia stayed away from her family, not wanting to bother them, but she looked back towards the side of the door, hoping to find her welcome letter too, but, while there was another letter on the floor, this one wasn't in the grey envelope like her sisters letters were.

  This one was a red envelope with a wax symbol of some sort of winged being, Celosia recongised that symbol, It was the same one on the gates of Besant Academy just on the top of the hill.

  Wait, does that mean?

  Celosia raced over towards the envelope while her family were busy looking over Lily, Willow and Addisons letters. Picking it up, Celosia ripped the wax and opened up the envelope.

  Sure enough, it was a welcoming letter, but it wasn't to Conway High.

  To be read by Celosia Marisa Barnes

  Welcome to Besant Academy.

  Most students, unique to Fmel get to attend Besant and we would like you to become one as well.

  Our social enviroment and the csses you'll attend will be to your liking and we are sure that you will find someone or a group of people to fit into. Besant is welcome to certain kinds of people such as yourself Miss Barnes.

  And we believe you will fit right in.

  We will be seeing you soon, and once again, welcome to Besant Academy Miss Barnes.

  - Seiji: The Vice Principal of Besant Academy

  Besant Academy, Celosia was going to attend that school after all, somehow.

  Everything about this was strange, she didn't even apply to Besant, how, what was even going---"Celosia?" Isobel called out, noticing the letter that Celosia was holding.

  "What is that, and where is your welcome here?" Isobel asked, confused with the letter Celosia was holding, Celosia turned to her family, who were just as confused as Celosia held up the letter.

  "Uh." Celosia started.

  "This is my welcome letter... To Besant." She revealed, showing off the letter to her family. Lily, Willow and Addison were shocked that Celosia got into Besant, but Damon and Damian, as well as Isobel's reactions were less of shock.

  And more of anger and jealousy.

Recommended Popular Novels